Caregiver Isolation.

As a caregiver, who do you talk to about what you're going through and living?

Who could understand? 

A favorite example of mine that I use to illustrate this loneliness follows:   

'If someone broke their foot in August and then broke it again in December you'd feel bad, offer to drive the kids around, cook...anything.  Yet, if someone has a depressive episode in August and another in December they become invisible.  No one knows what to say and they're afraid of the unknown. So they avoid them or the topic, yet are quick to use the term 'crazy' to describe them.'  

Sadly that is stigma, you learn to isolate.  

Fact: 1:4 Americans are caregivers of someone with a mental illness and 1:4 Americans are diagnosed each year with a mental illness.  Movies like 'The Shining' did tremendous damage to our loved ones and prevented so many from reaching out for help. That genre of movie really isolates all suffers of mental illness and scared the public. The percentage of people with acute psychosis, like the Shining character is so small,  less than 1% of the population, it's statistically insignificant.

Stigma is real and it is propagated by the media and my Hollywood to the detriment of the very people around us who need our compassion the most.

My measure of my life is this:  How I treat those who can't help themselves.  

In fact that is my measure for all.

After Newtown. No Quick Fix.

Since Newtown the conversations and need for a quick fix are everywhere.  I remain grateful that the conversations are happening.  I've spoken to State Legislators, written my Federal Elected Officials, Vice President Biden, spoken to Doctors, Psychologists, caregivers, neighbors, and public safety officers. Understandably we all want to make sense of this horrifc tragedy and never let it happen again. Yet the issues are very complex.

It's natural to want a quick fix. The hard truth is that it took decades to get here and it will take decades to fix the mental health system. There is too much blame to spread, it permeates every layer of society and the political system. The decisions to cut extremely effective and empowering services ocurred slowly over several decades. No one that I've spoken to took away the major funding for these effective support systems, the low hanging fruit so to speak, but their predecessors did.  I fear that after one month of true dialog we'll turn to quick fixes of the symptoms, a feel good process' because the issue is ugly and very complex.  

There is no quick fix, the burden is on the caregivers and they too are stigmatized.  There's an article about a quick 10 minute screening that Medical Doctors can do to screen for mental illness (link in references).  I'm not confident that that is an answer.  A Psychiatrist from PsychCentral best described my concerns of this screening process, it's labeling and implications  (see link in references). This screening tool could be wonderful if there were accessable and affordable services available and the patient accepts the Medical Dr's opinion.  As someone who watched several family member either never accept their diagnosis or conditionally accept them decades later and then only privately.  At which point they're often unable to follow protocols given to them by professionals.  

Why do patients wait so long to accept help?  Accept their diagnosis?  Stigma.  I fear the approaches being bandied around to these very complex issues will only compound societies stigma and prevent people from getting help for themselves and thier loved ones.  We as caregivers and consumers of boht covered and unvcovered Mental Health Services for our loved ones know what is effective and needed.  The answers are there for anyone who will listen.

Money would be best spent being put into restoring effective programming and services to support those whohave accepted their diagnosis' and to support also caregivers so they can work and have a respite are the ONLY responsible answer.  Anything else is window dressing.

It may not be what society and politician want to hear but it is the truth.  Society can no longer look the other way and through this issue and politicians refusing to fund these programs yet funding pork places a responsibility on them. Let's look at the real issues and to listen to the caregivers and organizations like NAMI. Nothing is new in Mental health care needs, actually there is...no funding.

The measure of man is how they treat the lesser amoung the.