The Life of a Caregiver

Time often feels as if it stops.  An urgent conversation that you had a few months back about a crisis issue that you scrambled to solve for your loved one rears it's ugly head again and nothing has been done on the part of your loved one.  The issue didn't just disappear, in fact, it is now worse.

The choice is to get mad or just accept it.  Until this year I'd get stressed out and jump again.  Now I just state that this issue would be gone if the plan set forth was followed.  That it's ok, but the consequences are there and need to be dealt with by my loved one.  Gently remind my loved one that the situation would be less dire if dealt with when the original crisis arose or was finally discussed.   

Crisis:  Often the 23rd hour of a long standing issue at which point there is nearly no hope of a successful outcome.

It's a cycle for them and for us.​

​It took me years to come to terms with this cycle.  I always felt the stress and wanted to solve the issue, to never revisit it again.  Funny to type but so true.  Their love is so pure and true yet so is their need.  That turns into a need for us to make it the crisis stop...with a hope, however slim, that it will all get easier and better for them.

Hope.  It is theirs and it is ours.​  It's just defined differently for everyone.  

​Our loved ones didn't choose this illness but they do have some choices and we need to let them make them.

​That is a hard fact to accept.